Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Help Out A Conservative

The Conservatives are having a heck of a time, coming up with a "credible" talking point, to justify their prorogue decision. I notice today, the media again mocking Harper's latest attempt, something about helping the markets, whatever, it doesn't seem to be working. With this problem in mind, I thought some non-partisan inspired help is in order, because frankly it's painful to hear/watch all the lame rationales.

Let's help out the Conservatives with a few new talking points. Here's a couple of mine:

We had to prorogue Parliament, because Wiebo Ludwig was recently spotted in a hardware store, near the Glebe.

Rick Mercer was short of material, and we want Canadians to laugh. A happy Canada brings a happy economy.

Mike Duffy refused to submit to a body scanner, won't return to Ottawa.

The Liberals "Death To Israel" private member bill was set to pass.

Work on our environmental platform continues, as it always has, on Capitol Hill. Canadians get CSPAN.



Ted Betts said...

Stephen Harper wanted to try to get his book done before the Olympics but was still stuck on this concept of "delayed offside".

Dean Del Mastro needed some more training time try-out for Team Canada.

Copies of Harper's speaches were delayed because of a postal strike in Australia.

You think it is easy to make priorities?

Carter Apps, dabbler of stuff said...

Stockwell Day has been on the roof screaming for the Rapture ever since he saw the movie 2012

JimmE said...

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get the GG to prorogue parliament.

RuralSandi said...

Mom, they wouldn't stand at attention, they wouldn't salute and they wouldn't take orders and I can't allow that.

JimmE said...

To change the subject, did you see the French using Monsanto's data have found evidence that GMO Corn damages the Liver & Kidneys?


Ted Betts said...


"Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get the GG to prorogue parliament."

Except he couldn't even bother to show her and Canadians that modicum of respect. He dialled it in and let his comm director tell us about it.

rob said...

I have one that I don't think I've heard them use on any issue before:

"We did it to support the troops. You disagree with our decision? WHY DO YOU HATE OUR TROOPS???!!!!!"

Ted Betts said...

"As you know, I've recently prorogued Parliament. One of the purposes of that was to support stores and bars in small communities throughout Canada by sending MPs home with spending money and lots of leisure time. Also, it will help media outlets by providing the Liberal party with fodder for some ads."

Can't take credit for that one. Saw it over at Maclean's

Omar said...

John Baird is still inconsolable over the loss of his cat.

Omar said...

Needed time to prepare for Pierre Poilievre's sure to come insensitive remarks of 2010.

Mark Richard Francis said...

"I had sufficient votes to form a minority government, and I'm simply being the arrogant bully they voted for. It's the fault of those voters."

Steve V said...

"the funniest thing I’ve heard in politics for a very, very long time."

Ignatieff reacting to Harper's market stability justification.

A Eliz. said...

I had to stack the Senate..it was hard..can't seem to find any that share my views..maybe Duffy could help?

Dame said...

I am like Moses need time off to come up with the CONS TEN COMMANDMENT...

Christian said...

"Well, due to the recent meltdown of conservative blogger stephen taylor over a photo-shopped image of me, we decided it was only appropriate to take some time off, in an effort to reassure him."

Skinny Dipper said...

You're not being fair to Mike Duffy. There is no way he could fit through a body scanner.

marie said...

I wouldn't want to be the one to body pat that Duffy whale like senator would you? Maybe its good he doesn't want to go through airport security. Everybody there would suddenly have a contagious virus attack. Time for Duffs to get his back side kicked.Oh and Thanks Duff by staying at home. Nobody needs you anyway?

You know, every time Harper opens his mouth the more Canadians see him for the slim ball he is, a sham and a waste of tax dollars he has become from day one.

Jay said...

Needed time to wean Pierre Polivre off the public teat and fot John Baird to come out to his parents.

Jay said...

Needed time to wean Pierre Poilievre off the public teat and for John Baird to come out to his parents.

Old School Liberal said...

Needed the extra time to bail out CanWest so as to ensure favourable coverage of the Throne Speech and Tory Talking Points.

900ft Jesus said...

Couldn't help myself. Proroguing is so sexy.

JimmE said...

- The present PM needs the time to learn FOOL ON THE HILL
- Look a Unicorn!
- The price Ringo charged to let The present PM EFF-up his song
- That woman needs a hearing aid! I said "Read Going Rogue", not "I need to Prorogue!"
- The Defenbunker needs more time to get upgraded.
- Take this Parliament; please!
- Knock-knock!
Who's there?
Nobody who?
Nobody knows the proroguing I've seen!
- Duffy ate it!
- Finally, taking climate change seriously, keeping Parliament closed this long will save on GGEs!
- The ghost of John Lennon past spooked the present PM
- MMMMMMM Doughnuts !
- Gives the present PM a chance to audition for Conan's spot now that Leno's moving back to 11:30
- Tories can catch up on FOX & Friends
- Present PM has almost run out of stuff to break
- Needs the time for the ice in the canal to build-up to support both him & Duffy at the skating party!
- Won't come back 'till Tiger comes back!
- Found tapes of Wallen when she was an actual journalist, & needs the time to hide them from her
- Just making sure all MPs get a chance to see Avitar 3-D in IMAX
- Part of the new PUT CANADA ON THE MAP marketing campaign in Uganda, Nigeria, Zimbabwe, Burma, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Fiji, Syria, Libya, Cuba & Central America
- Make the Chinese feel right at home when they're here for the Olympics

rockfish said...

It was the only means he had to force NBC to move Jay Leno back to 11:35 p.m.

John said...

It was a question of national security and if you don't agree with that, then you hate Canada.

Tof KW said...

We prorogued parliament in order to perform EAP repairs, including new-fanged security enhancements to keep Greenpeace activists off the roof. And we had to act quickly so we could claim the renovation tax credit before it was too late!

The Harper Government:
We're not working in order to keep Canadians working.

marie said...

We are working to keep Canadians unemployed and destitute. That's what we do best in a time of crisis

You are so funny JimmE

Good day to all