Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Beyond Lame

Admittedly biased, having just watched the new Conservative ad, my immediate reaction- lame. The ad is cheesy, the voiceover guy is plain goofy and the entire subject matter is hardly inspiring. As bad as the ad is, the new website is embarrassing. I know the goal is to get hits, so I probably shouldn't provide the link, but it's SO BAD, the more people that see it, the better.

Here is someone's pathetic attempt at wit and humor, know as Kyoto's Dog Blog:
May 29, 2007

On days like today, I wish we were in France!

Spent the morning lying on the couch in Stéphane’s office listening to him pleading with Liberal Senators to pass the Government’s term limits. He said the Tory ads were making him look weak and powerless. Again. "Eight years and out? No way!" they said. He moped around all day muttering about how unfair life is.

Yesterday I was taking the master for a walk when I spotted the Prime Minister’s cat strutting down Sussex like she owned the place. Can you imagine? She’s not even purebred. I gave chase, dragging Stéphane down the street. He kept shouting "No Kyoto! Stop it!" Madame Elizabeth May happened by and almost had a coronary. She thought he was talking about the Accord.

Ignatieff came by the other day. He grimaced at me and told Stéphane he preferred big bald eagles to dogs. When I barked in protest he lectured me about the appropriateness of torture in "certain" situations. So I showed him my fangs. "Yikes," he said, "when are you going to get this dog trained?" Stéphane barked back: "You don't know what you speak about!" and asked Ignatieff: "Do you think it’s easy to make priorities?"

Tonight Stéphane tried to get me to listen to that stupid joke he told on TV last year about the world’s shortest bedtime story. "You know Bam the dog?" he said. "The car goes by, and bam, the dog. Now go to sleep." Then he laughs, like it’s funny. Gives me nightmares. I whined and cowered until he apologized. It’s a trick I learned from him. Now that’s funny.

Time for bed. I'll dream about France. Stéphane tells me we will move back one day but I've heard him flip flop too many times before so I'll just keep dreaming for now.

What funnybone challenged genius penned this turd? If this low brow, gradeschool junk actually resonates with Canadians then all is lost.

How should the Liberals react? Normally, the preferred route is just to ignore. However, the ad and website are so bad, and actually reveal so much more about the Tories preference on political discourse, that Liberals should talk up these latest round of attacks. Ask Canadians to visit the website and decide if this humorless tripe makes them proud? Is this the sort of behavior they endorse, because afterall their reaction will ultimately decide if this tactic becomes commonplace. Challenge people, embrace the ads, they don't do the Tories any favors, beyond hardcore partisans.


burlivespipe said...

Like you, I abhor the idea of giving this kind of vapid mean-spirited crapulence any thought or hits. That they are trying to appear 'hip' and 'witty' is just another zone that they've sunk to. But we are bias, so how this plays, if it does, in the media and among the pundits will be a curiosity I'll be following.
How to react? It's obvious that the CONs, so waist-deep in oil money (I think someone should throw oilsands in their face and remind them that it was a Liberal gov't that helped make it possible -- like saying that the 'new' CON gov't would have put the brakes to R&D -- if they are just going to 'harp' on what the Liberals didn't do in 13 years, we should start talking up WHAT they DID do...) are aiming at making this kind of message a white noise, something you don't need to be told about but just inherently feel come next election...
I won't go to the website and won't spend a lot of time dissecting it. All I want to ask of people is 'What does this say about the CONs leader when all you can do is talk about the opposition?'
That they know nothing about fairplay is understandable. That they are beyond desperate is palpable. That this kind of ploy could work is frightening.

Steve V said...

"But we are bias, so how this plays, if it does, in the media and among the pundits will be a curiosity I'll be following."

I read two separate news items, that both used the word "desperate" in description. The pundits I heard were more interested in the "techincal briefing" the Tories called, with no cameras, as though they were being manipulated. For the most part, given the frequency, there seems to be a general yawn, with a touch of cynicism.

Gayle said...

To say this website is juvenile is an insult to juveniles.

Steve V said...


I admit some bias, but I also find it hard to believe anyone finds that Kyoto blog funny, beyond the spoon fed partisans. It's a dud.

sassy said...

Steve V. “cheesy, plain goofy, embarrassing, low brow, gradeschool junk, humorless tripe, It's a dud

Gayle said...
To say this website is juvenile is an insult to juveniles.

burlivespipe said...
… That they are beyond desperate is palpable.

From where’d that bug go?
… ridiculous website

The Toronto Star -“The ad campaign, coupled with a website -- notaleader.ca -- is seen by observers as a desperate attempt by the Conservative Party, which is flagging in the opinion polls, …..

My Canadian pride - diminished. This is a sad and sorry day in Canadian federal politics. Do those fools know no boundaries in their attempts to take over the ship?

Someone should contact a Conservative party insider (or even someone who thinks he is ;)) to inform them that this insult to all thinking Canadians website has been put up under the CPC name.

knb said...

Sassy, you express my sentiment, as do you all.

To be honest, when I first saw all of this today, I thought, juvenile schlock, here we go again. Then I got angry, then I became sad. I grabbed my bike and rode trying to figure out where we are in this country.

Sound dramatic or maybe melodramatic? It's not, it's just honest.

It seems to me that we've gone from being an intelligent nation, to one filled with stupiity, over night.

Now, in reality, I think most of us in this country get it. What infuriates me though, is the fact that this flipping government is dictating the message. We have people in power who are happy to dumb down every discussion. That is scary!

Steve, you know the more I think about it, the more I agree with the Martin ad's. They were truth and now it's manifesting. We should not have backed off. Don't conflate the message, keep it honest, but do not back down when presenting who these guy's are.

Steve V said...

I actually think Liberals should draw attention to these ads and the website. The best way to contrast, is to highlight how somebody else operates, while articulating a different standard. Dion's biggest assets are his character and honesty. What he lacks in polish and political instinct, can be countered with integrity. I think it important moving forward that Dion resist rolling in the mud with the children, and present Canada a mature approach, based on a discussion of ideas, rather than negative neo-con tactics.

Knb, on the Martin score. The Tory apologists are complaining about Liberals whining about these ads, and point to the Liberal campaign to show apparent hypocrisy. I find it quite amusing that the best defense seems to justify, using the dirty Liberals for context. That begs the question, whatever happened to "doing things differently"?

knb said...

I just went to the con party website, to express how disgusted I am.

It turns out, you can't just write them, you need to give your first and last name, address, and telephone number. Contrast that with the Lib site.

I wanted to write and say how embarassed I was as a Canadian. Damned if I want them tracking me though. My phone is unlisted, so I don't give it out, but I cannot write them because of that? Yes, this is the party that embraces all of us. What a joke.

knb said...

Steve, they have run themselves inside so many circles, it's tough to keep up.

This is what get's to me. The inmates are running the show and we deserve better.

Maybe Canada is sleeping a bit...we can't afford to, but maybe we are just weary. I think your point is well taken...though timing is everything.

Steve V said...

"Steve, they have run themselves inside so many circles, it's tough to keep up."

A bit off topic, but an interesting excerpt from a G and M piece:

"Sparks also flew earlier in the day at the Commons environment committee, where Mr. Baird accused Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty of lying about the speed with which the Ontario government could close down coal-fired generating stations.

"Here's a perfect example of a politician wanting to get elected who is prepared to promise the world and lie to voters," said Mr. Baird.

Officials in the Ontario government lashed back saying that reliance on coal increased by 127 per cent under the Progressive Conservative regime of Mike Harris, for whom Mr. Baird once acted as energy minister. Emissions of carbon dioxide also rose by 120 per cent.

"It's easy to call someone names," said one Ontario official. "With their [the federal Conservatives] record, it's their only option.""

knb said...

Oh, listening to Baird defending Harris almost made me throw up.

I just don't know how you can sleep at night and wake up, see yourself in the mirror and lie. Worse yet, as you are shaving, figure out more lies.

I do not get it.

knb said...

One other point...look at the spelling on that site. It's american, not canadian. Democratise, is democratize. Trivial perhaps, but telling.

sassy said...

knb said...
"One other point...look at the spelling on that site. It's american, not canadian. Democratise, is democratize. Trivial perhaps, but telling."

GOOD EYE - more telling than trivial.

Susan said...

The only way I can deal with the frustration I feel that Canada has come to this - as you all so well describe (good rant Steve) - apart from blogging and knowing there are many out there who feel and think the same - is to take every opportunity to talk to people about the next election and how important it is and to tell people who don't watch the news and don't realize what's going on how threatened our way of life is.

North of 49 said...

Hey, knb, you can still write the CPC like you wanted. I tried it, and though they ask for all that info, they don't validate any of it. Put down whatever you want, the mailbot swallows it.

Remember, it's just a cheap online form, which means it's really just a text-field packager, and it has no smarts; it just takes whatever string is in whatever field and bundles it up with the message. It has no built-in programming to validate addresses, phone numbers (you could probably just type in 9999999999 and get away with it, in fact it might not even check to see if the phone number is numeric), cities, email addresses (george_olduvai@hotmail.com ought to work), or postal codes (X9X 9X9 should work, or give them the good old H0H 0H0).

Have fun.

North of 49 said...

Update on the CPC mailbot - it will still submit a comment even if you enter as little as one random letter in every box except the Province field. It does no checking for numeric data or email-address format.

Hey, you could even write a little poem. All that empty space just begging to be used...

***First Rule of Online Forms: If you want good data, you've got to work for it.

Ed said...


Kyoto posted a new entry:

Stéphane was very upset when he came home from the Hill today.

It’s those new Tory ads about the Liberal Senate blowing him off on term limits. He was whining like a homeless mutt. "This is unfair!"; "You don’t know what you speak about"; "Harper is a bully."

What a complainer!

It was so loud I thought I was in a poodle kennel. Good thing Harper didn’t point out Stéphane’s record on greenhouse gas emissions. That would have had him howling for mercy."

Up next -- Harper calls all Liberals poopy-pants.

kevin said...

I completely agree with you Ed, that Kyoto blog is the lowest point of the site.... I really don't know what they were thinking when they did that.

Peter Dodson said...

Wow. So Canadian politics has come to this? I can stand being mean, but unfunny?

Who writes this stuff? 12 year olds?

Crabgrass said...

My overwhelming reaction to this is that I don't get the sense that whoever wrote it is a sparkling wit.